24th February 2024
Sleep
What a satisfying date to start on! 24/02/2024! Or 02/24/2024 if you're fucked in the head.
It's technically the 25th as I write this, but it would be dumb to say this is a journal entry for the 25th, because I've just finished with the 24th. I got no fuckin clue what the 25th's got in store for me.
It's about 12:50AM, and I want to be asleep, but ADHD decided that instead of going to sleep tonight, I was going to make a fucking website. This is a regular occurrence. Last night, I stayed up til midnight manually making a list of all the towns in Western Australia (there's like 400), so that I could spend today categorising their names by their etymologies (I did no such thing). I really do hope I keep doing this website, cuz I find it really fun. I'm going for the same sort of weirdo amateurish minimalism that Bill Wurtz's website has. This is the second time I've tried to emulate Bill Wurtz, actually. I had a phase on Moono Stultus where I tried to imitate his earlier style. It didn't work out, but that's because my expectations were wrong.
Anyway, yeah, sleep. I'd like to have it, but I'm too busy writing about sleep to go to sleep. I've been trying really hard to fix my sleep schedule lately. On the 26th, I start university, and I'm really excited for that. But with it comes a lot of early (i.e. wake up before midday) mornings, which I'm not accustomed to as of late. So I've got to try and fix my sleep schedule in the next 20 hours or less. I did actually get some success the night before last, but I reckon that's been undone. I actually got three new prescriptions for sleeping medications the other day, cuz this has been a consistent problem for me for a long time. I got prescribed some kind of custom melatonin concoction, plus some Restavit (which I only know as an antihistamine, but it also apparently makes you sleepy), plus some fuckin...blood pressure medication? Apparently lowering my blood pressure will help me sleep better. I do sometimes think my psychiatrist is trying to experiment on me, and that's not my OCD talking. I think.
So yeah, I've got these prescriptions for sleep meds, but I can't actually use them yet because I don't have the money. I did a big shift at McDonald's today which will hopefully get me enough to fill one of them, but that pay won't come through til the 27th at the earliest. One thing I don't like about my employer is that they don't let me choose when I take my breaks. Maybe it's just a trainee thing. I'm not complaining, though, because I get, like, $22 an hour to work there. You might be saying, "but Rhea, that's minimum wage!" You're correct, it is minimum wage. I'm still grateful for it. Once I get off my traineeship, I think I'll be entitled to, like, $29 an hour. I dunno for sure, though. Bloomin capitalism.
This is actually the 2nd journal I've kept. I started one in 2020 to help me through the suicidal slog that was high school, and it lasted about a year. Since phones were handed in after dark in the boarding house, I had to find some way to distract my overactive, unmedicated mind in the enormous gap that separated my natural falling-asleep time from the time they wanted us to hand our phones in around 8:30. I decided that writing a journal would be a good way to fill that time, and it kind of was, but it also became a sort of toxic thing. I can't quite remember how. Anyway, then I got a really toxic partner who pressured me into calling him every night, and I no longer needed the journal because I snuck my phone into my room to call him, and I could just use that to pass the time instead. He sucked.
Alright, that's enough blabbering. I'm going to save this site, check it, close my laptop, brush my teeth in the dark, then go to bed. By bed, I mean couch, because the bedroom has no air conditioner and it's summer in Australia. Summers are getting worse here. Getting hotter, lasting longer. It's making life very hard for my parents, who are having to run the station all by themselvesn nowadays. Hardly any rain anymore. Our cattle are dying of thirst. Fuck fossil fuel companies, donate to Disrupt Burrup Hub and Greenpeace and all that mob. Anyway, goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bight.