14th May 2024

The Dollop, news, & more procrastination

I'm just a little bored to be honest. I should be doing uni work, or the dishes, or applying for jobs, or practicing for my auditions, but I just don't feel like it right now. My plan is to write this blog entry, and then have a shower and get to work doing something.
But before that, I have two bits of news.

I GOT A CALLBACK!

I got a callback for the company I auditioned for in my last journal entry! They got back to me the day after, and I'm really excited for the audition. Unfortunately, it's a tricky audition. I know I've got the skill to do well in it and maybe even get the job, but I don't know if I'll be able to get my shit together in time. Basically, it's another workshop, but on top of that there's also a solo performance element to it. They described that part of the callback as a "short, 5-minute solo performance aimed at entertaining 3-5 year olds". SHORT!? 5 minutes is not a short amount of time to be doing a (potentially totally original) solo performance meant for kids in front of a bunch of adults and being judged on how well you do!
I know I'll be able to, but the trouble is, I don't know what 3-5 year olds are like. How smart are they? My best skills in childrens' entertainment are silly characters and funny stories: I know they'll get silly characters, but I think my storytelling skills are far more impressive, and thus what I ought to prioritise showing off in the callback. I've also got the distinct impression that they want the performance to have a lot of movement: which is pretty essential to entertaining young kids in the first place, but just means I've got to put more thought into planning what I'm gonna do.
I think my best bet is to tell a story that involves characters. One joke I know I want to make is saying that, since I'm 18 and thus so much older than the kids I'm entertaining, I can say that I was around for "the olden days", which the adults will get a kick out of. I think that's a good starting point: what if I tell a story set in the olden days, like a medieval fantasy setting? Fantasy is GREAT for silly characters. It's got goblins, wizards, hoity-toity royalty, the lot! I think I'll work on that idea. You're a good bouncing board, Void.

I found my old Comprehensive Psychological Report

When I was 16 and 11 months old (according to the report), I went and got a psychological report done to see if I had ADHD. Spoilers, I do (it also revealed that I have autism too, which hadn't even crossed our minds somehow). I read that report for the first time today because I had to send it on to my uni to verify I had ADHD, and I found a lot of interesting things in it. I know I probably shouldn't be putting this shit out on the internet, but I really don't care to be honest. I've never been one for my own privacy (previous to the detriment of those around me, but I'm better nowadays in that regard).
My favourite part is the big sign on the first page saying I had a 98% chance of ADHD on the ADHD Index. That's, like, comedically conclusive.
According to my self-reported results on the Child and Adolescent PsychProfiler, there's a good chance I have Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Combined Presentation ADHD, ASD, and Conduct Disorder. I didn't even rememeber anything about Conduct Disorder, so that's interesting. I think there's a decent chance of something similar. In fact, on the Conners' Self-Report Subscales table in the report, my highest T-score for any DSM-5 thingy was for symptoms of Conduct Disorder, at a whopping 80. That's even higher than my individual results for inattentive and hyperactive/impulsive ADHD. Oppositional Defiant Disorder also scored a solid 70 ("markedly atypical" according to the report), and based on my partner's description of ODD, I reckon that's a very likely candidate. I'm not even sure I believe Conduct Disorder is a thing (yes I know all mental health is arbitrary and made up to label people who don't fit into the mold yadda yadda, but I'm especially suspicious of Conduct Disorder).
For some reason in the section for my WISC-V results, the examiner mentioned that I had bad handwriting? I don't think my handwriting is that bad. Maybe I was just nervous, though I do agree with his comment that my "5" really looks like an "S". At least he didn't notice how much my "r" looks like a "v", and my "n" looks like a "u".
He also commented that I "displayed some repetitive facial and hand movements", which is fair.
The most interesting thing in the report is my FSIQ, which is reported with a 95% "confidence interval" to be in the 95th percentile, which according to them is between 117 and 129. Personally I reckon it's on the higher end of that scale... :P
For all of the WISC-V Subtest Scaled Scores, my age equivalent was equal to or higher than my actual age (they didn't get any more specific than that), except for "figure weights", for which I was apparently on par with someone nine months younger than me. How the fuck can they get that specific??
Basically I scored a minimum of "high average" in every category, and I remember that my psychiatrist, upon reading this report, told me that he was sceptical of me having ADHD because all of my WISC-V scores were so high. For the record, that's bullshit: just because someone is smart doesn't mean they don't have a mental disorder, and vice versa.
So in short, the list of mental disorders I might have is:
  • ADHD
  • ASD
  • OCD
  • GAD
  • ODD?

    • You know what I reckon? They should get rid of the "D" at the end of all them initialisms. It's clearly superfluous. If every disorder ends in a "D", I reckon it's perfectly sensible to remove it altogether. Not necessary at all. Tut tut. Why the HELL is /ʇ ʇ/ spelt as "tut tut"??? That makes no sense.

    last bits of news

    I saw The Dollop live last night! It was great, I got a hoodie from it. Dave's inability to pronounce Australian place names nearly killed us all. There was some good running gags, but I won't explain them here because you can just listen to the episode. It's the one about the mint and the gold and it was recorded live in Perth.
    I might be on another advisory council for queer youth soon! Can't say too much...because I don't know too much.
    I also might be acting in a haunted house(?) this Halloween! Again, I don't know shit about this gig. I arguably know LESS shit about this one. All I know is it'll be round Halloween time, and I'll be in full body paint doing creepy movements indoors. I presume that means it's a haunted house??? It'd be weird if it was anything else...but maybe that's why the guy is being so vague about it. Maybe it IS really weird and he doesn't wanna tell me just yet because he's worried it'll scare me away. We'll see.

    all the stuff i have to do


    I've discovered that writing a journal about procrastination tends to be a really good solution to procrastination. Whoopee! I shall do it more often.
    In terms of uni work, I'm pretty behind. I've got a few real big assessments coming up for the end of the semester and I haven't really started any of them. I'm lucky all my units are easy (except archaeology....they told me that shit would be easy!!) I'm planning on starting them soon, but you know what ADHD is like...
    In terms of the dishes, they're sitting there and I oughta wash em.
    In terms of applying for jobs, I should be applying for jobs because there's no guarantee I'll get this acting gig. But applying for jobs takes up SO MANY SPOONS...it's horrid. But if I don't get this acting job and I haven't applied for any others, that'll mean at least another month of working at McDonald's, which I just don't want to do. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. That was a bold-faced lie, it's really not that bad at all.
    In terms of practicing for my auditions, I've got two auditions to practice for: the company I talked about, and The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals! I'd love any role in that show, but I really want Paul. I even look like him! I legit get it all the time. I'm gonna sing Crazytown from 35mm and It's A Fish from some musical with a painfully long-winded name. I also have to memorise the bass part to a group harmony for the audition. So I've got two auditions, each now less than two weeks away, that I need to prepare for. Wish me luck!
    I'm now going to feed myself, shower, and then do the dishes and get ready for my auditions. Buh-bye!